Relationships: Power struggles

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In a strong romantic relationship, partners share so much energy that is possible they may experience a certain harmonic bliss every day. This bond, where they see each other as their “other half” and give each other a positive boost, is highly desirable but doesn’t appear out of thin air. For example, after getting married, one partner might expect their spouse to change and fit their ideal of how a married couple should behave. Statements like “We are married now, so act like it” can lead to disappointment and power struggles when expectations aren’t met.

The energy or power in a relationship is whatever we value most, whether it’s support, a romantic gesture, or intimate words. These positive interactions create a “charged” moment, essential for maintaining health and happiness in a relationship. Without this energy flow, a relationship can stagnate like a still, murky pool of water.

In power struggles, partners subconsciously vie for dominance, each trying to control the flow of energy. This can manifest in arguments, manipulation, and using sensitive matters against each other. Instead of two equals, one becomes the master and the other the servant, often without realizing it.

James Redfield, in his book “The Celestine Prophecy,” identifies four roles people can fall into during power struggles: the intimidator, the interrogator, the aloof, and the victim. For example, someone acting as a victim can manipulate their partner into doing things for them, creating an imbalance of power. This form of manipulation can be as binding as force, leading to a toxic dynamic.

If you find yourself in a relationship you don’t want to be in but feel obligated to stay, it’s important to look beyond the surface reasons for your attachment. While children, financial hardships, or an emotionally unstable partner are valid concerns, they should not be the reasons to stay in a relationship out of guilt. True romance can only come from love, not obligation. By staying longer than necessary, you might prevent your partner from learning important life lessons. Support them as a friend or financially if needed, but don’t maintain the illusion of a healthy relationship if it no longer exists. Ensure you fulfill your responsibilities, especially if children are involved, to avoid negative karma.

If you feel unwilling to let go of an unsatisfying relationship, look within to understand the root of your dissatisfaction. Co-dependency and attachment often stem from a fear of abandonment and a lack of confidence in managing life alone.

Breaking up requires redefining your role in life, especially if you heavily identified with being in a relationship. An identity crisis can cause insecurity about the future, making it difficult to plan long-term. Initially, it’s best to take things day by day.

Relying too much on your partner to define your life role can lead to co-dependency. Each partner must be responsible for their own decisions and choices in the relationship. Accusations, blame, or manipulative behavior like self-harm to make the other feel guilty will not foster a stable relationship. This only leads to a worsening battle until resolved.

No relationship can reach its full potential if you’re unhappy in it. Staying with a partner out of obligation cheats both of you from experiencing true, deep love. It’s unfair to your partner, who deserves to be loved fully, and to yourself, as it blocks personal growth and the chance to experience a mature love. A partner will sense if something is missing, leading to doubts about your interest in them.

For more insight on power dynamics and healthy relationships, consider exploring resources like James Redfield’s “The Celestine Prophecy” or articles on relationship dynamics and manipulation.


                                

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