Relationships: Losing the intimacy

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If you’ve ever listened to relationship counseling podcasts, you’ve probably noticed that amidst discussing issues like “So, your wife cheated on you…” or “That’s when your husband started making all those rules…”, the hosts often ask when the intimacy started to fade. They dig into when the spark, the attraction, or the interest that brought the couple together began to wane.

Losing intimacy is detrimental to a romantic relationship because intimacy is the essence of romance. It’s what sets the bond between partners apart from all other relationships they have with friends, family, or acquaintances. While you might love many people in your life, the intimate love for your partner is unique.

At the beginning of a relationship, there’s usually a strong, intense connection, with partners being infatuated with each other. However, over the years, routine can set in, leading to discontent and the risk of taking each other for granted.

Intimacy can be overlooked because it’s often seen as a byproduct of a good relationship, not the cause. Couples who neglect their intimacy also lose the romance. It’s not the number of activities you do together that fosters intimacy; it’s the nature of those activities. Watching TV together like friends, running a business together like colleagues, or co-parenting like co-teachers doesn’t nurture a romantic relationship.

To sustain a romantic relationship, you need to engage in romantic activities. You get out of the relationship what you put into it, and maintaining romance requires effort from both partners. But this effort isn’t like a demanding job—it’s a mutual endeavor to deepen your bond.

True love is more than just romance. It’s essential to have a deeper, ripened connection. Intimacy encompasses familiarity, personal involvement, and sexual connection. Spiritually, intimacy teaches us to consider someone other than ourselves, to soften our hearts, and to be compassionate and understanding. It helps us develop empathy and camaraderie.

Maintaining passion through intimacy can enhance your zest for life. Without it, you might develop a bitter outlook. Sharing what you love with others and sharing yourself is often the most fulfilling part of life.

Emotional Unavailability

As partners, you’re there for each other to work through issues and enjoy life’s joys. Being emotionally unavailable—closing yourself off—diminishes your ability to collaborate on problems and enjoy the good times. Share your sad thoughts and your happy ones. Ensure your partner knows how you feel, beyond just complaints or forced positivity. If you don’t share, they might sense something is wrong but won’t be able to help.

For more on emotional unavailability, check out this link: Everyday Health.

                                     

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