Relationships: Fear of loneliness

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Sometimes we stay in relationships that are not best for us because we fear being alone. Letting go and moving on is difficult when you dread never feeling the warm embrace of a sensitive lover again, even if the embrace you currently receive is lukewarm.

After investing a lot of effort in a relationship, the thought of breaking up and starting over can be daunting. We yearn for a romantic bond as it’s an essential part of our being. When we succumb to the fear of not achieving that bond, we might settle for anything, believing it’s better than nothing. This attitude creates friction between partners who feel they shouldn’t be together but stay due to a lack of better options. If they give up on seeking what they truly desire, they might assume all relationships have significant downsides. This misconception can lead them to mistake partial happiness for true fulfillment and believe a perfect match doesn’t exist, sabotaging future relationships before they even begin.

Everyone needs love to fulfill their basic human needs. See Maslow’s hierarchy of needs for more insight.

Some people choose loneliness after leaving a dysfunctional relationship, fearing a repeat of past mistakes. They might claim to be content alone, saying they just want to live life on their terms. However, this can mask growing resentment towards their ex, people with certain traits, or even life itself. They might think relationships are too troublesome, but this isn’t the case. It’s perfectly okay to take time for yourself after a breakup, but becoming cynical about future relationships can be harmful.

A strong and lasting romantic relationship can only be achieved when fears are overcome, insecurities dealt with, and trust cultivated. This battle isn’t with others but an inner struggle that must be won to find peace. The goal isn’t necessarily to end up with a partner but to evolve and find self-love. A romantic relationship is a possibility that manifests when you live that reality internally. Practice self-love, be loving to others, desire companionship, and be open to dating.




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