Relationships: Ending a relationship

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You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship at all costs. Staying for the children or out of guilt is not a reason to endure a miserable situation. It’s better to end a relationship that’s causing anger, fear, or resentment. Life doesn’t have to be complicated by difficult relationships. The romantic relationship you dream of—where love is intensely shared—can exist when both partners respect and honor each other. Treat your partner as you would want to be treated, seeing them as a reflection of yourself.

During tough times in relationships, we might turn to self-destructive behaviors to mask our pain. Spending too much money, abusing alcohol or substances, or pretending to be emotionless are ways we try to hide our vulnerability and sadness.

When a relationship ends, especially if co-dependency was involved, three serious outcomes can occur:

  • You might dwell on or attempt suicide, or pick up addictive behaviors.
  • You suffer through a dark period of confusion and loss, but eventually push through.
  • You return to your partner because you couldn’t handle the dark nights alone.
Walking away from a relationship is challenging, especially with children or financial security at stake. However, staying in a toxic situation compounds the issues. Think about the true cost—do your children benefit from being in the midst of an unhappy couple? Financial security can be rebuilt, and opportunities are always available if you search for them. Evaluate the cost of ending the relationship and find ways to resolve any imminent issues. Issues can be resolved if you make room for resolution instead of excuses. Ending a relationship always comes with a cost.

Rebuilding your life from the foundations of rubble may feel like you have lost everything, but the freedom to create yourself anew outweighs the temporary feelings of loss. If negative feelings persist for over a year, it may indicate you’re not ready to let go of the past. We are naturally abundant, and there’s always a time to face your fears and let go. The grieving process brings deep insights and allows for reflection and creative flow.

If you need to end a relationship, seek support from those who care about you. Understand that you will feel deep hurt and pain, which is expected when leaving a long-term relationship. Don’t cover up your feelings; let them out. Close friends and loving family can provide great support, even if you’re too proud to share your deepest hurts. Let them know what you need so they can be prepared. If they can’t help, find someone who can. If you consider going back to a negative relationship, your friends and family can remind you why you left and help you get through the withdrawal and loneliness.

Learn to love someone enough to let them go if necessary. Allow them to continue their growth and development. If you’re meant to be together, you will be. If separation must happen, it’s intended. Learn to love yourself enough to let go. Detaching from an unhealthy relationship doesn’t mean you stop loving the person. Love is never forgotten, and it’s okay to recognize the love you have for a partner even when parting is best for both of you. The relationship served its purpose, bringing you to a higher awareness of who you are. For that, you can have gratitude and forgiveness.


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