Forward
Introduction Allowing change & growth The Savior Expectations & conditions Insecurity & low self-esteem Not being realistic Ignoring the problems Sexual intimacy Losing the intimacy Power struggles Over-nurturing Affairs Not your authentic self Freedom of self-expression Fear of loneliness Ownership, property or object… Addiction to a lover Lessons Should you break up? Ending a relationship Spiritual evolving relationships Greater evolved relationships Relationships & Subtle Bodies Conclusion |
Expectations in a relationship can feel like forcing your will onto your partner, which might cause them to suppress their true self to meet your needs. If a partner is constantly denying their own growth and feelings to please you, it can erode their romantic feelings over time.
Many believe that setting all the “rules” at the beginning of a relationship helps partners understand each other’s expectations. But measuring love by how well these rules are followed can be problematic. If love is seen through the lens of rule compliance, it suggests that love equates to obedience, which is far from the truth. A relationship built on rigid rules is destined for disaster. Just as we give our pets the benefit of the doubt when they don’t follow commands due to communication gaps, we should recognize that humans, despite speaking the same language, often miscommunicate. Words and actions can carry different meanings and associations for different people, leading to misunderstandings. Rules might come across as controlling rather than caring. This miscommunication can escalate, creating unnecessary friction. To avoid such struggles, it’s vital to empathize with your partner. Imagine yourself in their shoes and replay scenarios from their perspective. This helps you understand their motivations and realize that conflicts often arise from misunderstandings rather than malice. If you feel misunderstood by your partner, avoid holding grudges. Instead, communicate your intentions clearly and be willing to apologize. Acknowledging your good intentions, even if poorly communicated, can strengthen your relationship. Relationships require flexibility. As you and your partner evolve, agreements that once seemed valid may no longer apply. It’s essential to grow together, adapting to changes rather than rigidly enforcing outdated expectations. Avoid falling into a “punisher and victim” dynamic when agreements are broken. Punishment under the guise of love can lead to an abusive cycle, where partners mistakenly believe they are maintaining a loving relationship through control and compliance. Love doesn’t involve punishment; it involves mutual respect and understanding. If you feel your partner is draining your energy rather than uplifting you, you might be in an unhealthy relationship. Jealousy, often stemming from fear of loss, can lead to controlling behavior. This fear can create a possessive dynamic, which is not rooted in love. Instead, it’s crucial to address your fears openly with your partner and seek resolution or compromise. Love is shown through actions, kindness, and generosity. If you don’t feel good about the love you’re receiving, it may not be mature love. A mature partner will communicate openly about their feelings and seek positive changes together. They won’t resort to manipulation or control but will respect your individuality and growth. In any relationship, compromise is key. Accept that things may not always go your way and decide if you can live with that. Relationships thrive on flexibility and understanding, allowing for individual and collective growth. Do you think unconditional love is just a fantasy? That belief could be holding you back. Self-limiting thoughts can blind you to the potential of a truly fulfilling relationship. You might even convince yourself that you don’t deserve a wonderful partner, leading you to unconsciously choose someone who isn’t right for you. Embrace the possibility of deep love and avoid sabotaging your happiness. People change and evolve daily. Embrace these changes positively and avoid forcing your partner to be someone they are not. Growth should be seen as an opportunity for deeper connection, not a threat. Patience and understanding are essential as you navigate the ever-evolving landscape of your relationship. |