Forward
Introduction Allowing change & growth The Savior Expectations & conditions Insecurity & low self-esteem Not being realistic Ignoring the problems Sexual intimacy Losing the intimacy Power struggles Over-nurturing Affairs Not your authentic self Freedom of self-expression Fear of loneliness Ownership, property or object… Addiction to a lover Lessons Should you break up? Ending a relationship Spiritual evolving relationships Greater evolved relationships Relationships & Subtle Bodies Conclusion |
Affairs are a complex and sensitive topic. In most cases, they develop from a lack of something in the relationship. While there are many variables and examples, for further insights, check out the website Marriage Builders.
Often, affairs begin when one partner becomes infatuated with someone who provides what is missing in their “official” relationship. For instance, spending more time with work colleagues than with your spouse can lead to developing a stronger bond with them. At home, intimacy may be lacking due to long work hours, leading to dissatisfaction. Similarly, if you are home all day and barely see your spouse, your needs may also go unmet. Sometimes, affairs stem from resentment and anger, serving as a form of revenge. Other times, they arise from a lack of growth and development in the relationship. Partners might blame each other for driving them into the arms of another, failing to recognize the internal process that led to the affair. High expectations and sacrifices for seemingly less important things, like saving for a dream house or adhering to traditional roles, can cause a lack of intimacy that drives one to seek it elsewhere. If you and your partner have decided to stay together after an affair, it’s crucial to restore trust. Trust is a pillar of a good relationship, and understanding why things went wrong is essential. Seeking counseling can help uncover the root causes of the affair, which are often not immediately visible. If unresolved issues are left unaddressed, they can manifest in future relationships, leading to a cycle of mistrust and unhappiness. If trust cannot be rebuilt, separation may be necessary. However, ensure that you have resolved your issues to prevent them from reappearing in future relationships. Parting should come from a realization that it’s best for both of you, not just a change of scenery for unresolved problems. Personal growth and development are vital. If your relationship stifles your inner development, it will manifest as issues in the relationship. Not all couples are ideally matched, and recognizing when to let go can be beneficial. Some couples have the potential to live happily together because their personal evolution complements each other. When such couples face difficulties, it often stems from unfinished inner work. By working on themselves and facing their fears and limitations, they can grow individually and as a couple. If you find yourself in an affair and unsure how it happened, it may reflect your own unresolved feelings about life goals or circumstances. A lack of peace in your relationship often indicates a lack of peace within yourself. Evaluate where you feel trapped and why you seek freedom in affairs. Insecurities can lead to multiple lovers when we are dissatisfied with our relationship and uncertain if we are with the right person. Some believe that one partner cannot satisfy all their needs, but this often stems from an unsatisfied deep yearning for intimate connection, not superficial preferences. If you’re involved with someone who is married or with another person, ensure you’re not living in self-delusion. A married partner who doesn’t attempt to divorce is running from their issues. As long as they live the illusion of being happily married, they can’t fully share themselves with you. When unhappy in a relationship, signs and opportunities will arise to leave. Don’t wait for someone else to come into your life before breaking up with your mate. If you do so, you risk carrying unresolved insecurities into a new relationship which only perpetuates the cycle. If this is the case, you will need to resolve your insecurities before entering a new relationship. Address your feelings of unhappiness to better understand and improve any relationship, existing or new. Ultimately, a fulfilling relationship requires mutual effort, trust, and personal growth. Addressing issues honestly and working together can strengthen your bond, while unresolved problems only lead to further complications. |