Forward
Introduction Allowing change & growth The Savior Expectations & conditions Insecurity & low self-esteem Not being realistic Ignoring the problems Sexual intimacy Losing the intimacy Power struggles Over-nurturing Affairs Not your authentic self Freedom of self-expression Fear of loneliness Ownership, property or object… Addiction to a lover Lessons Should you break up? Ending a relationship Spiritual evolving relationships Greater evolved relationships Relationships & Subtle Bodies Conclusion |
At times, you might feel compelled to heal or change your partner, believing you can rescue them from their significant problems and past traumas. This savior instinct often stems from a genuine desire to protect your partner and create a happy, harmonious relationship. However, for true healing to occur, it is imperative that your partner first recognizes their inner disturbances and willingly accepts the need for healing. This process encompasses the mind, body, and soul, and cannot be accomplished solely through your presence or efforts.
As a supportive partner, your role is to be present and encouraging, helping your partner confront and release their inner wounds. However, the depth of their pain may necessitate professional intervention, which you may not be equipped to provide. It’s crucial to discern whether the healing your partner appears to have achieved is genuine and profound or merely a superficial dependence on you. True healing should empower your partner to stand independently, with the courage to face life’s challenges alone if necessary, and a clear understanding of their identity and desires. Being a savior in a relationship requires vigilance against ego involvement. Believing you are the sole source of your partner’s healing can lead to an unhealthy dynamic. Authentic healing involves self-exploration and accountability, where the individual actively seeks to understand the roots of their pain and implements changes to foster a happier life. External help, whether from a psychologist, spiritual advisor, or another source, is often beneficial, but the commitment to healing must come from within. Consider the example of my friend with a pronounced savior archetype, which often correlates with the rescuer. The rescuer provides crucial support of their partner during a crisis situation. This connection often starts romantically, with one partner seeking to establish an intimate bond by offering emotional support, hoping the rescued partner will reciprocate their romantic feelings. However, this type of relationship is prone to failure because the rescuer’s unconscious agenda is to choose those who need rescuing. Once the rescued partner is healed, the rescuer often loses interest. In my friend’s case, his pattern of falling for those needing rescue led to repeated dissatisfaction in his relationships. His challenge lies in detaching from the savior archetype and seeking relationships that offer mutual support and growth. This requires a shift in perspective, recognizing the importance of equality and balanced dynamics in romantic partnerships. Understanding and addressing these complex dynamics are crucial for fostering healthy, fulfilling relationships. Continual self-awareness and growth, both individually and within the relationship, are essential. By recognizing the limitations of the savior role and promoting mutual empowerment, partners can build a more resilient and harmonious bond. For further insights into archetypes and their impact on relationships, I recommend exploring the work of Caroline Myss, particularly “Sacred Contracts.” Back: Allowing change & growth Next: Expectations & conditions |