Throughout the years, people have asked me, “How do I meditate to connect with my higher self?” But lately, through my own deepening awareness, I would answer the question very differently than the common advice I would have once given.
Now, before speaking about methods or techniques, I first ask what it is people are truly trying to achieve through spirituality.
Because spiritually, meditation is often an attempt to move beyond the personality identity and experience something greater than the self we normally believe ourselves to be. Others take it further, seeking to enter non-duality. Some describe it as becoming one with the divine or entering the state of no-self.
But underneath all the different names is the same movement: The loosening of identification with the localized self.
For years, whenever I wanted to return to those ecstatic states of non-dualism, I tried many common methods. Listening to calming music. Repeating mantras. Using visualizations like watching thoughts float away into the sea. But none of those methods truly helped me.
Eventually I realized I was approaching meditation incorrectly. I was trying to remove thoughts instead of understanding what was maintaining the experience of being “me” as an identity.
And this is where my meditation changed completely.
The Mechanism of Identity
The ego is often misunderstood. Most people think the ego is arrogance or selfishness, but that is the most simplistic view of it.
In a deeper sense, ego is the mechanism maintaining localized identity. It silently reinforces the continuity of “individuality” so consciousness can experience reality through an distinct human personality.
Ego reinforces:
“This is me.”
“This is my story.”
“This is my experience.”
“This is my life.”
And because most times it operates seamlessly in the background, many people never tune into its automatic function regulating their personal identity, just as the heart regulates blood flow through the body without conscious attention.
Your personality feels natural because the mechanism maintaining it remains hidden. But the ego does not only maintain identity.
It also maintains momentum.
It keeps the personality moving from one thought to the next, one emotion to the next, one reaction to the next, one desire to the next. It continuously reinforces the experience of being someone.
This is why the personality can feel so solid. Not because it truly is solid, but because it is being continuously reinforced.
The Divine Split
When I realized this, I stopped trying to silence thoughts and instead began observing the mechanism itself.
Not the thoughts. But the mechanism maintaining the experience of being a separate self.
And eventually I understood something that changed meditation for me forever: I am a conscious being capable of becoming aware of the mechanism maintaining localized identity and personality. And the moment the mechanism is consciously observed by the awareness using it, it loses autonomous authority.
That is exactly what began happening to me.
When thoughts moved through the system of identity, I stopped following them unconsciously and instead gave attention to the ego mechanism itself. Inwardly, I said:
“I see you.”
And the moment that happened, a divine split occurred within me.
The true “I” as the observer.
And the false “I” as the ego.
As the true observer, I began watching the personality structure itself.
How many times do you hear the word “I” in your mind throughout the day?
“I need to start my day.”
“I need to get dressed.”
“I need to eat breakfast.”
During meditation, my awareness became conscious of the identity-maintenance system it had been operating through. And once the mechanism was seen clearly, it became exposed.
Unmasked.
Transparent.
It could no longer unconsciously operate in the background pretending to be the totality of me. Its movements remained visible, but they lost autonomous authority.
The ego mechanism became still. Not destroyed. Not removed.
But waiting.
Awaiting my permission as the true observer for it to proceed. It became the servant standing before the master.
When the Ego Is Seen
What shocked me most was realizing how quickly the ego loses authority once exposed. Not because it is weak. But because much of its power comes from remaining unseen.
The mechanism was never forcing consciousness. It was guiding consciousness through unconscious identification. And once awareness turns toward the mechanism itself, the influence weakens instantly.
The system maintaining the personality suddenly realizes it is being watched. And in that moment, its automatic movements hesitate. Almost like a lucid dream becoming aware of itself.
And this was the deepest realization for me: The observer was never something meditation created. The observer was already there before the personality was continuously reinforced.
Meditation was simply allowing consciousness to become aware of the mechanism it had been using to maintain localized identity. And once awareness sees the mechanism clearly, something profound happens.
The momentum of becoming someone pauses.
The personality no longer rushes forward as the unquestioned center of experience.
The illusion of being only the personality begins to loosen.
Not because the personality disappears. But because consciousness is no longer completely immersed within it.
The Ego Returns to Its Place
This is why silence during meditation began happening naturally afterward for me. Not because I was removing thoughts. But because the unconscious authority of the identity-maintenance system weakens once exposed to direct awareness.
The ego was never truly the master. It only appeared that way while remaining unseen.
And once seen clearly, it returns to its rightful place:
A servant of experience.
A tool for localized reality.
No longer the unconscious ruler of consciousness itself.
This is meditation as I understand it now.
Not escaping the self.
Not forcing the mind into submission.
But consciousness turning toward the very mechanism that has been maintaining the dream of being only this individual self.
And when that mechanism is finally seen clearly, it bows.
This is where communion begins. Not as a question thrown into the noise of the mind, but as a question surrendered into stillness. And in that silence, you may ask the Universe, the Divine, how to connect more deeply with your higher self — and listen from the place where separation has grown quiet. From there, every question you have may rise and you may listen for what returns.
“Becoming free of Ego means becoming free of thought, identification with thought. That’s the end of the Ego. It may reassert itself from time to time, but at least its the Awakening.” – Eckhart Tolle
