When we view our lives as unchangeable, we often feel trapped by our circumstances, believing we’re doomed to a certain fate. We forget to remind ourselves, “This too shall pass,” and fail to recognize that change is always possible. When consumed by negative emotions, our focus narrows to our own grievances: “Why don’t I have this? Why did they do this to me? I’ve had it hard, others should accommodate me.” This leaves no room for perspective.
Let me tell you about a man I know. He had a tough childhood. His father was absent, and his mother never revealed who his father was. He grew up harboring deep resentment towards her, feeling abandoned and betrayed. This unforgiving attitude not only destroyed his relationship with his mother but also tainted his interactions with all women. He let his anger dictate his life, eventually becoming the very man he despised—his father. He abandoned his own children and let self-pity ruin his family relationships. So consumed was he by his pain that he couldn’t engage in healthy relationships, often lashing out in anger.
He made countless excuses: why he couldn’t be there for his family, why he turned to heavy drinking and drugs, why attacking others seemed justified. His life became a cycle of bar fights, jail time, and deep-seated anger. Despite having opportunities, like a football scholarship to college, his unresolved childhood wounds led him to self-sabotage. He couldn’t maintain his grades and eventually lost his scholarship, derailing his potential future.
Fast forward fifty years, and this man is still resentful, blaming his mother for his lifelong struggles. His mother, heartbroken by his depression and alcoholism, watched as he spiraled deeper into despair. Attempts to reconnect with a father figure only added to his grief when they proved fruitless.
His life, marred by negative emotions, created a chain of painful events. He found no solace in drugs, alcohol, or violence, hurting those who loved him in the process. Unemployment plagued him. He never learned to love himself, constantly blaming others for his issues, preventing any healthy, loving relationships from forming.
Even now, he remains emotionally unavailable and burdened by anger, grief, and abandonment. He looks back with regret, seeing few accomplishments and feeling deeply unsatisfied. Despite having three beautiful daughters, five step-sons, grandchildren, a supportive wife, and a mother who never gave up on him, he can’t find joy in his blessings.
His dwelling on negative emotions has caused him and others great pain. The karmic responsibilities he’s accumulated will follow him, potentially into future lifetimes. The sooner he releases his negative emotions, the sooner he can begin to heal himself and mend his relationships.
You might be thinking, “Couldn’t he have just gotten over it?” The truth is, many people don’t easily overcome their struggles, whatever “it” may be. Many of us have endured horrible experiences, but these sufferings don’t give us exclusive rights to mistreat others or ourselves by clinging to negative thoughts and feelings about our circumstances. There’s a saying: “Whatever doesn’t break you makes you stronger.” There is truth in this. Every experience, good or bad, has a positive side if we choose to see it. By not transforming our emotional pains into positive learning experiences, we hinder our ability to function well.
It takes effort to emerge from a negative situation, but growth follows if we try. Without effort, the situation can “break” us. Living requires effort, as does thinking, and even simply being. Without effort, life would be a constant repetition, leading to a kind of non-existence like a sound that repeats itself fades into the background until no one hears it anymore. Being conscious of something means interacting with it and creating something new.
Negative emotions like anger and depression trap us in a downward spiral, preventing us from seeing creative ways to improve our lives. You might justify your negative behavior as necessary, a psychological need to balance your emotions. But is this fair to yourself? Is your life any better for dwelling in negativity? This applies to anyone experiencing ongoing negative emotions, whether an attacker, a victim, or someone grieving a loss.
Negative emotions can create a personal belief in a balance between harm and retribution. When we examine any negative action done to us, we often see it stems from another misdeed, perpetuating a cycle of negativity. By binding ourselves to these negative situations, we pass the negativity on to others, who then face the choice to continue the cycle or break it.
At any moment, you can choose peace. It is a choice, not an inevitability. You can change your thinking, but this cannot be done from a place of misery. People who bring balance and light to those suffering from negative emotions can have a profound impact. The choice to move on must be made by the individual, but support is often needed. Support groups provide a safe space where perspective can be gained.
When we can’t get over our emotional pain, we destroy ourselves, including our bodies. Some of us turn to medication or self-mutilation as substitutes for dealing with emotional torment. These substitutes can become addictive, making it difficult to break free from the underlying emotions.
Negative emotions become familiar, and we stay with them because we’re not brave enough to seek peace. Attacking others or blaming them is a way to avoid taking responsibility for our lives. Our minds are powerful, and trauma becomes part of our psychology and physiology. We often ask, “Why is this happening to me?” without realizing that we are creating our own pain. We fail to reflect on our lives and make our problems external rather than internal.
Lack of awareness caused by negative emotions has become almost normal. Peace must come from within; our external world reflects our inner state. If you want peace, confront your inner demons. The world outside changes as the world within changes, for our self-awareness is the key.
Using pain as an excuse to avoid living fully is futile. Eventually, you must cope with your negative emotions positively to grow and progress spiritually. Letting go of pain makes life more enjoyable. Everyone has suffered at some point, but you can purge negative emotions and move forward at any time.
Ask yourself how your negative emotions serve you. What good have they brought? When will you choose to let go and embrace positive emotions? There is no evil force orchestrating negative events in your life. Change begins with the choice to break negative patterns. As you make this choice, opportunities to escape negativity will emerge, and liberating thoughts will become more frequent.
Emotions influence the energy we have. Positive emotions bring joy, compassion, and satisfaction, while negative ones like anger and jealousy diminish our energy. Although emotions can’t be measured physically, we can sense their impact. High-energy, positive emotions lead to awareness and comfort, while low-energy, negative emotions bring discomfort.
Negative emotions can turn small issues into crises, while positive emotions enhance our capacity for compassion and love. People quick to anger might end up in fights or suffer health issues, even attempting suicide because they see only faults in themselves and their lives.
Emotions shape our experiences. We can navigate life’s lessons with ease and grace or with tension and panic, depending on how we manage our emotions. Over-emotional reactions cause tunnel vision, preventing us from seeing solutions to problems. We often forget that we live in a world of duality and polarity, where our emotions play a crucial role in shaping our reality.
Seeing ourselves as part of a larger whole rather than independent individuals helps us understand that harming others is harming ourselves. Our perception of events creates an illusion of separation, but everything is interconnected. A peaceful person promotes a peaceful environment, which in turn fosters a peaceful society. We must look within and weed out negative emotions that harm us.
Reality is co-created, and no single individual is responsible for all events. Our responsibilities are tied to our abilities and consciousness. By becoming aware of the whole picture, we can make conscious choices to change our situations. With this awareness, events will present opportunities for positive change, and negative patterns will dissipate.
In conclusion, your emotions influence your life profoundly. Negative emotions can create crises, while positive emotions foster love and compassion. You have the power to change your emotional state and, in turn, your life. Choose to let go of negative emotions, embrace positivity, and create a life filled with peace and joy.